DEAR ELLIE: I'm single and "parallel dating" -- I've been seeing one girl for two months; we're physically intimate, though we've had no explicit discussions about exclusive relationships, nor implicit "I love you." I've gone on a couple of dates with someone else (but not very intimate). I find myself in a moral quandary: Am I cheating and being dishonest, or am I just maximizing my dating? I get the sense this could blow up in my face.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm breast-feeding, and during my lunch hour I go to the ladies' lounge, set up for that purpose, and express my milk. However, the lounge is often occupied for non-nursing purposes. A co-worker made a sign informing the time I'd need the room; some people became offended and complained.
DEAR ELLIE: My fiancee and I are great together, but she's not into sex like I am. During our five years together (both still living with parents), our sex life has been so limited that it's always just the usual positions. I have to beg her for oral sex, though I have no problem in return.
DEAR ELLIE: I lived with my fiance when his career made him a local celebrity; to my surprise, I, too, was caught up in it, with the media following me around. So when he cheated on me, everyone read/heard about it and questioned me about it.
DEAR ELLIE: My daughter had a beautiful destination wedding recently; I planned air travel, hotel, car rental, insurance, activities, etc. for 50 guests. My husband and I happily paid 100 percent of the wedding.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm 22, together 18 months with a man, 40. We get along well, but big fights happen when I try to stop his calling another woman three or four times daily over six years (they've never met). They used to have phone sex; he says they're now just friends.
DEAR ELLIE: My son and his fiancee adopted a beautiful dog that shares space on their furniture (the bed too) and has damaged many things.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm getting married in mid-October and would like to invite my ex-boyfriend. He's had a girlfriend for the past few years, and she hates me because she believes that during the first early months they were together, I was trying to win him back. I was single then, so I was calling and wanting to see him more often.
DEAR ELLIE: My father-in-law is a tough, stubborn man who talks to my wife like she's still a child -- barking orders, dismissing her ideas. She's depressed after every visit but still wants to see her mom.
DEAR ELLIE: I recently started a relationship with a man to whom I'm physically and mentally attracted. Every morning I wake up and see him sleeping, I want to wake him to tell him, "I love you," and let him know every minute, every day. But I'm cautious about saying it, as I don't want him to freak out. Should I listen to my heart and say it, or let him tell me when he's ready?
DEAR ELLIE: I started dating a man when he was going through a divorce; when finished, he got the raw end. His ex got everything: the house, car and kids. He was depressed, then turned to drugs and drinking.
DEAR ELLIE: Whenever I relax with friends, my girlfriend says I drank too much, said something that disrespected her, acted the fool, etc. She ruins my time with her constant "let's go," and nags me the next day for things I don't even remember doing!
DEAR ELLIE: My big mouth has gotten me into trouble; in the heat of the moment I said some things I didn't really mean about a girlfriend's sisters. I said them to her mother-in-law. I believe my blabbing has been repeated to my friend. I've tried via e-mail to speak with her but am getting nowhere.
DEAR ELLIE: At lunch with lady friends, we shared a sampler. One of the ladies would talk and bits of food would land on our communal dish. I found this repulsive but didn't want to say anything.
DEAR ELLIE: I've been widowed for one year, have two young adult children still at home; my life is busy, my friends supportive, but I'm petrified of being trapped in the "Widow's Zoo."
DEAR ELLIE: My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for two years; we've lived together these last two years.
DEAR ELLIE: After I divorced, I dated a man intensely for several months but took time before I was intimate with him. Still, shortly after we did have sex, he dumped me. I was devastated. Why do men do this?
DEAR ELLIE: I'm a man, mid-20s, own a nice house, a car, have a solid job, enough friends and am not worried about my looks. But what's always seemed out of reach is a steady relationship.
DEAR ELLIE: Are there any Relationship Rules to help me not make stupid mistakes in the early phase?
DEAR ELLIE: I was recently shocked to learn my husband occasionally does recreational drugs. I knew he'd experimented when younger (as did I), but believed that ended when we married 10 years ago. I was furious at his deception, upset that some of the drugs are fairly hard core. We have young children.
DEAR ELLIE: I'm in my late 40s, in a 13-year relationship that's gone stale. We're little more than dinner companions (zero commitment, communication or future plans).
DEAR ELLIE: I'm in a loving relationship; we're "unofficially engaged," waiting until after college. Everything's fine but our intimate lives. We're both 20, and I understand he's supposedly at his "peak," but I'm being turned down. We're only intimate once or twice monthly.
